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And I'm Still Out Of Line. [Wednesday
January 28th, 2009 at 10:15pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

And the seemingly never ending quest continues. Prospect number 8 has been benched. She barely lasted a month and only two dates. Although, It's not like I'm happy to see her get benched, but I'm also not sad to see her get benched either.

Saturday night was the second date, and with my second date curse hanging over my head, I was ready to go. I was looking forward to that night. I get to her house after work, sporting my newer even shorter hair style and walked in. We go out to get a quick bite to eat and then head off to Blockbuster where she gets some movies and then head back to her place.

Max Payne was a pretty good movie, and with some parts of the movie begging to have me bust out some jokes was to hard to resist. My jokes as top notch as possible for not seeing the movie before hand were met with utter silence, which is rare and a little off putting for me. I work so hard at my jokes, atleast give me a small laugh for fucks sake!

The second movie was My Best Friends Girl, with Dane Cook, Jason Biggs and a very hot Kate Hudson. Although I'm not a fan of Dane Cook, he did play a very good part in the movie, as the asshole who will help guys get back with their girlfriends by taking the girl on the worst date ever. I did manage to laugh out loud, but since this was a comedy, It was hard for me to make jokes, so I made no attempt.

After the movie, it was getting late, and my plan to do the Charlie Harper plan was soon scrapped as Erica was tired, by this time I had already realised that she would not be the kind of girl I was looking for. So when she told me that I could stay at her place and hang out some more, but not to watch movies, the Charlie Harper plan soon turned into the Alan Harper plan, and it made the final few moments very very akward. Working up the nervous hand sweat was no problem and the fast talking and stupid comments almost came to easily. I'm pretty sure, that she wanted to make out or possibly go further, which was NOT going to happen!

I figured that since I could score a kiss to see if anything happens to change my mind, I went for it. Dispite that anyone that would have seen it would describe it as a very deep passion type kiss, it still didnt do anything for me, thus my mind was made up. Plus, in my defense, I've been told that I'm a really good kisser to begin with by EVERY single girl I have made out with, which is like 6 or 7, so I kiss every girl the same way.

So with my mind made up, it was a little shocking to find out she felt the same way, and knowing that I dodged a bullett I was able to whipe the beads of sweat from my brow. In closing, I would say that Erica is a cool person, but it was just lack of chemistry between us that was the downfall, atleast that's my reason, I'm not sure what her reason is, but a relationship is not what she's looking for, which is good enough for me. Is the door open for a possible revisiting in the future to see what happens? Yea of course. It's very rare that a girl and I choose this path and leave on good terms. I'll probably never speak to her again, but who the hell cares?

So the hunt begins for prospect number 9. I've gotton the coaches together and the search is already on. I'm ready for the next girl to come along. Consider prospect number 9 saved.

Bite The Hand That Bleeds

So Far It's Working Out, Everything's Different Now. [Monday
January 19th, 2009 at 10:28pm]
[ mood | hot ]

So the most important football game is upon us. Superbowl 43 is less than two weeks away and this year's matchup while sounding boring on paper, actually comes to be an intriguing matchup. First off, we have the AFC Champion Pittsburgh Steelers going up aganist the NFC Champion Arizona Cardinals. Allow me to break this down as only I can.

Pittsburgh was an early favorite among many fans to win the AFC North, and amongst teams like Cincinatti and Cleveland in the same divison, it was a somewhat easy task for the Steelers, the only team that posed a threat was the Baltimore Ravens who in their own respects made it to the AFC Championship game. The Steelers were the 2nd best team in the AFC behind the Tennesse Titans, and with the Steelers getting that first round bye, they were nice and rested to welcome San Diego in the 2nd round, which saw the Chargers put up a nice fight, but not enough. Then the Steelers were able to defeat the Ravens in a very hard fought game to advance to the Superbowl. The odds on favorite are the Steelers. Ben Rothelisberger, Hines Ward, Santino Holmes and Troy Palomalau each have Superbowl rings from their Superbowl 40 victory 3 years ago. The number 1 ranked defense and a QB who is one of the best in the league today would pose a dangerous threat, no matter who they were to play. If Pittsburgh wins, this would be their 6th Superbowl victory. Pittburgh has appeared in 6 Superbowls so far, this will be their 7th appearance. 1974 they beat the Vikings. 1975 they beat the Cowboys. 1978 they beat the Cowboys again. 1979 they beat the Rams. 1995 they lost their only Superbowl aganist the Cowboys. 2005 they beat the Seahawks. Pittsburgh's got history in the Superbowl, something their opponent have very little of.

Arizona was written off very early, a mediocre team at best, the team has had it's fair share of loosing seasons. However with the collapse of Seattle, St. Louis and San Fransisco, the Cardinals easily won the NFC west. Many fans wrote off the Cardinals as the worst team in the playoffs and were picked to be the first team to exit the playoffs. However, when Atlanta's Matt Ryan threw 2 Interceptions, compared to Kurt Warner's 2 touchdown passes it was all academic. The fans wrote that off as an upset and the Cardinals poor defense would certanily be decimated by Carolina's strong running back duo of DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart, wrong.... wrong. Arizona tromped the Panthers, thanks to QB Jake Delhomme's worst game of the season. 5 INT and 1 lost fumble. The Cardinals still were overlooked aganist Philly, except for myself, after doubting them twice, I was convinced. Arizona knocked off Philly to get to the Superbowl for the first time causing many people to say "The fucking Cardinals are going to the Superbowl?" and also taking their name off the list of teams who have never gone, which is now down to 4 teams. Texans, Jaguars, Saints and Lions are still the only teams. Kurt Warner has played in 2 Superbowls. Winning aganist the Titans in his first one, and loosing to the Patriots in his second one, both times were with the Rams. With a stong offense led by Warner, Larry Fitsgerald, Tim Hightower, Edgerrin James and Anquan Boldin, this team has the task of going up aganist the number 1 ranked defense. Arizona has proven they are for real, but aganist the Steelers, I don't think they can win. I'm pulling for them, but for my money. It's Pittsburgh.

I'm ready for Superbowl 43, then it's off to the Pro Bowl in Hawaii, but more on that later. Hawaii! Consider my winter vacation saved.

Bite The Hand That Bleeds

I Want You To Lead Me. Take Me Somewhere. Just Don't Want To Live In A Dream One More Day. [Friday
January 16th, 2009 at 10:49pm]
[ mood | Youthfull ]

I may not have met my goal for the year 2008, but the goal remains the same for the year 2009. And as endless as the road my seem, I find myself in a similar situation that I'm all to familiar with, and this time I feel pretty indifferent towards the latest prospect, which is a phrase I haven't used at all, considering the last 3 girls were either on my level or a bit above my level of girls I'm used to dating.

Before I get into great detail, allow me to recap the latest date I had. Prospect number 8, for all intents and purposes, lets call her Erica, which was also the name of prospect number 4, except she spelled her name Erika, and as it turned out, she wasn't even really that interested in me. Anyways, not to go way off topic. I do my usual routine, dress up somewhat nice and get myself pumped up on the drive over to pick her up a ritual usually called "Getting into my metal mode" Although this time I turn on AM radio to catch some of the Panthers-Cardinals game since my 2nd favorite team was playing, but QB Jake Delhomme threw his 3rd of 5 interceptions much to my dismay, the Panthers ended up getting thier asses whooped, and for the 2nd year in a row, the team I support goes out in the Divisonal round. I then get to her house, or apartment, I couldn't really tell. I pick her up, and it's dark so I can't really tell what she looks like.

That is until I get to dinner. As we walk into the resturant I was able to get my 1st real glimpse at her, and in my mind, the voices I hear curse Myspace again for showing me pictures of what she used to look like. I'm not afraid to admitt that she looked better on Myspace, and for the second time I have to change my game plan since Myspace lied to me. I know it sounds pretty mean that I have a game plan based on the looks of the girl, but hey It's my date, I'll do it however the fuck I want to. After talking with her, I find out the following gems if you will. She can drink. She has a job. She makes a little bit less money than me. She didn't go off on the male race and doesn't seem to have any major baggage that the previous 3 girls had and told me in great detail about. She goes to the gym often to work off some extra pounds she gained over the course of the previous few years. With gems, comes some bad things. I don't believe she graduated high school and had to join the job corps (That's if I heard that correctly) She has a history to past drug use, manily pot and cocaine, both of which I've never done, but it beats Courtney doing Pot laced with PCP or Angel Dust. I don't really have an issue with any of her past drug use or the possibility of dropping out of high school.

After dinner, we go see the movie Gran Torino, which was a damn good movie. Probably the best movie I've seen in theaters since The Dark Knight. I wasn't aware of the blatant rascist overtone though. After Clint Eastwood's first racsist tangent, I was holding in my laughter until everyone else in the theater started to laugh. The best part is every race gets theirs.

Then after the movie, I take her home, it's around 1 AM or a little after 12, I don't even remember the time, but I drop her off and walk her up to her door and share and akward hug which she instigated, well atleast I thought it was akward. I then leave to go home so I can unleash some throat yogurt since I didn't get laid or any kind of action.

I would have to say that the date as a whole wasn't the best date, but it was far from the worst date. Since this was my 1st date since early December, I haven't developed any kind of rust and still know what I'm doing on a date. Was I nervous? No, not at all. The last date I was nervous about was the first one with Megan, since It had been years since I had gone on a date at that time. Now, Erica on the other hand was super nervous, and after reading her body language while at dinner, I knew she was nervous. I have a habit of reading people and I'm quite good at it. Erica is a pretty cool chick and seems pretty down to earth and laid back, which are the qualities I'm looking for. I'm not intrested in drama crap or anyone high maintenence or any under lying mental condition. So far, she seems to be clear of any of those. Now, I'm used to scoring dates with chicks who are above average in looks, considering I'm an above average looking guy. Erica may not be as pretty as the previous prospects, or have that rockin' body I'm looking for, but I'm not tripping on that fact at all, maybe and average chick is just what I may need, but who the hell knows whats next? As far as a second date goes, yea I'm up for it, and she's already trying to set one up with me. I'm sure she's taking the role I usually take in dating, lucky to actually rope an above average looking person. Well, atleast she passed the first date and was able to score and second date with me, not like that's a suprise at all, she didn't fuck up the first date. Consider Erica saved.

Bite The Hand That Bleeds

They Scream, You Scream, I Scream, We Scream, But No One Listens. [Wednesday
January 7th, 2009 at 10:39pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

I'm not really sure what seems to be the problem with me recently, maybe I'm just burned out again, or maybe it's just a small phase I'm going through, but I've been really really tired as of late. I'm finding it hard to get up in the mornings, maybe it's because I've been getting up early to go to work since I've been doing overtime all this week. I'm pretty sure I'm getting the right amount of sleep, and I haven't been going out on worknights or anything like that. Maybe I just need a day of just resting and sleeping.

It could be that I have a lot on my mind as of late, between work, a social life and making football bets, I can't think of anything else that consumes my time, other than the few hours I spend at home when I get off work. I would have never guessed that having stuff on your mind and trying to setup dates and crap like that could be so draining. Normally at this point I would say that I'm getting sick, but I feel 100 percent, bedsides my lack of energy. But with the weekend coming up and a chance to sleep in later than normal, maybe this will all pass. I just hate being so fucking tired all the time, and it's been that way all week. Maybe I just need something to look forward to get my energy level up. I'm supposed to have a date on Saturday, but that still doesn't do the trick.

Not to make it seem like that I'm not excited or looking forward to this upcoming date, it just seems like that I've been doing this same thing over and over again. Step 1: Meet a girl. Step 2: Go on a date or several dates. Step 3: Become closer with the girl. Step 4: Make out, have sex or spend the night at the girls pad. Step 5: Develop feelings. Step 6: End Game. Step 7: Repeat steps 1-7. Maybe this is what I need to take a break from. It seems it's been one girl after another for the past year, well it doesn't seem that way actually. It is that way. You know, take a break, step back and evaluate what needs to be worked on and all that shit.

Then again, maybe I'm just over analyzing this whole situation. Maybe I should just shut the fuck up and be glad that I'm attractive enough to not have to wait several months to find a new prospect. Hmm. I'm just going to stop this mild whine and bitch right now.

Bite The Hand That Bleeds

You Don't Have To Wait Forever, It Is The Next Disaster. [Sunday
January 4th, 2009 at 10:26pm]
[ mood | pensive ]

The holiday season is over and really not a moment to soon, to be honost I was getting tired of all the holiday crap that most of us have to go through, crowded grocery stores, traffic, and the ever annoying phrase "Have a happy new year" That part may still continue on for a while however.

What I am glad is here are the NFL Playoffs. 12 teams, well now 8 teams since the Wild Card or the 1st round was this weekend. Even though my team didn't make it this year, I'm still very much excited. Of all the teams that made it we have teams that didn't make the playoffs last season such as. Carolina Panthers (2nd seed NFC) Minnesota Vikings (3rd seed NFC), Arizona Cardinals (4th seed NFC), Atlanta Falcons (5th seed NFC), Phildelphia Eagles (6th seed), Miami Dolphins (3rd seed AFC), and the Baltimore Ravens (6th seed AFC) The teams that did return were vastly outnumberd by those who didn't. New York Giants (1st seed NFC) was the only team that played in last years playoffs from the NFC. Tennesse Titans (1st seed AFC), Pittsburgh Steelers (2nd seed AFC) San Diego Chargers (4th seed AFC) and the Indianapolis Colts (5th seed AFC) also came back. With the 1st round being this past weekend. Seeds 3-6 had to play while the 1-2 seeds got the 1st round bye, meaning the Giants, Panthers, Titans and Steelers were not seen. The 1st matchup was between Arizona (4) and Atlanta (5). I myself had pegged Atlanta to win this contest, but I was wrong as Kurt Warner and the Cardinals whomped the Falcons to make them the 1st team to leave the playoffs.

The 2nd contest on Saturday night was between San Diego (4) and Indianapolis (5) in the AFC. I had chosen Peyton and the Colts to win this. In a replay of last years Divisonal Round matchup between the 2 teams, the Chargers under the guidance of QB Philip Rivers and RB Darren Sproles won the game in OT to send Peyton packing early for the 2nd year in a row. Leaving people's hopes for a "Manning Bowl" to be put on hold for next year. Once again, Eli lasted longer than Peyton.

The 3rd contest was Sunday morning between Miami (3) and Baltimore (6) in the AFC. After going 1-15 last season, Miami rebounded and won the AFC East from New England, while Baltimore also rebounded from a 4-12 record the previous season. I pegged Baltimore to get the upset and was right. Chad Pennington of Miami threw 4 interceptions and had one returned for a TD. Joe Flacco is now the only rookie QB in the playoffs still.

The 4th contest was Minnesota (3) vs Phildelphia (6) in the NFC. I once again pegged Philly to get the upset and they came through. Minnesota put up a fight though, but still not enough.

So next week is round 2, where 4 more teams will go home as we get closer to the Superbowl. My support is behind my 2nd favorite team the Carolina Panthers who didn't play due to 1st round bye. They play Arizona this weekend.

On a different subject, I have some interesting stories from the weekend. On Thursday, Phil and I went out to Shari's late night to eat and catch up from our New Years, which I didn't partake in. It started to snow really hard so we left, and on the way we saw some guy in front of us on 503 slip and slide, ended up fishtailing it. Phil made the comment "He must be trying to do that" No more than 5 mins after I slip and slide and narrowly avoid a ditch. The words fuck and shit were said a lot during that escapade.

Friday night Phil called me needing my help. He got laid on New Years and left his underwear in the girls car he fucked. So I pick him up finding this to be funny. When we get going he tells me "Oh yea, she knows I'm getting them, but she's not home, so I have to break into her car to get them." I take a deep breath and say "Always a fucking catch isn't there? God dammit, this is fucking stupid, this better be the best pair of underwear ever!" On the way out towards Duluth, we encounter a patch of black ice and start to slide again, which I got control of quite quickly, but the dude in front of us, lost control and fishtailed hard core and took out a mail box. Phil and I witness this and laugh all the way through this poor basterds ordeal. Phil did get the underwear by the way, without incident. Then Saturday we hit a strip club and once again, I'm noticed by several strippers, and it's because my hair is "so cool". Nothing else really happend, other than our names were Alan and Charlie. If you know what sitcom those guys are from, nice job.

On a final note, Phil is here 1 more week before he heads back to Pullman and won't be back till March, but we've done everything that we normally do, get drunk, act stupid and hit a strip club. I suppose there's nothing else really to do. However, on this upcoming Saturday night, I've got a date, yes I know how shocking is that? Prospect number 1 of 2009 gets her chance. I wonder how well Erica will fare. I guess I'll find out on Saturday night, as yet another girl gets a shot. Consider Erica saved.

Bite The Hand That Bleeds

Take This Life. I'm Right Here. Stay A While And Breathe Me In. [Monday
December 22nd, 2008 at 10:44pm]
[ mood | silly ]

As we now head into the second week of this arctic blast, I'm going on the record of saying that even though I love cold weather and snow, I am offically sick of this. 11 inches to a foot of snow at my house is the current total now. This is the most snow I've seen in real life and not on a mountain. I've been stuck in the house since Saturday night after I got off work. I'm getting a little cabin fever. I'm not used to staying in on a Saturday night. Shit, I couldn't even get out of my driveway for work since the snow comes over my tires. So needless to say, I was shoveling the driveway today so I have a path to be able to get out, so I can get out tomorrow. Now the news is saying another 2 to 3 inches possible on Wednesday. This is insane. I'm actually waiting for a day of rain that is in the 40 degree range and melt this shit away. Then we can look forward to possible flooding, since it's a safe bet the sewer system can't handle all the extra water from the melted snow. This will be an interesting few weeks ahead.

And since the end of the year is upon us, we all know I have the 2008 year in review and the best of 2008 posts to do. I've been taking this time to replay all the new albums released this year to see which album gets the nod and at this point, it's down to 3 albums that are tied for 1st place. Plus best movie, and for the first time. I'm gonna do the 1st annual Beezey award. This will go to the biggest bitch of the year 2008. I won't name the nominees quite yet. Although we do have several people in the running. Many of them female and some of them I "dated" I'm looking forward to this. I'm expecting the 2008 year in review to be a long post. A lot of shit happend in 2008, and it's all worth writing about. Just as a preface to that post, I would like to just say that the year of 2008 was actually a good one. I thought 2007 was good, 2008 was even better for me. Not too many bad things happend to me. I kept the same group of friends and made some new ones. I went to some very badass concerts. Had a successfull turn out for a b-day party, which was the 1st time ever. Went on several dates with different chicks and got some action in the form of making out, handjobs, blowjobs and sex. The only bad thing about 2008 was that my main goal was not reached, I'm not really sore on that subject, cause I can say that I've gotton closer than I have in the past 3 years. If the same course of actions continue to improve. 2009 should be a great fucking year!

Speaking of chicks. I don't have any new info on prospect number 8. I did manage to see a few pictures of her, and I can say that she will be a few steps down from the previous 3 chicks. Kristy, Kareena and Courtney were all better looking, but the three of them lacked stuff like, a heart, willingness to give a second chance, and sanity respectivley. So even though this new girl lacks the good looks I've grown accustom to, maybe her personality will be an improvement over what I'm accustom to. I guess we'll all have to wait and see. In the ever changing persona's I've used, my latest one which is SWM or Single White Male. So I am the SWM, and I pretty much have come to the conclusion that there are plenty of chicks out there for me. But I'm going to make the choice of which chicks get to stay and which one gets to go. Not the other way around. I am the SWM, and I am the one all the girls should desire. A little more arrogant that being saved huh?

Bite The Hand That Bleeds

Bottled [Wednesday
December 17th, 2008 at 10:34pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]

The arctic blast that has come in is pretty much creating havoc, first off it's really cold outside, which I enjoy, it's been a while since this area has had a taste of real cold weather. Then today the snow storm hit, and driving conditions are poor, I did manage to make it to work today without incident, Vancouver was an easy drive, but up by my house in an higher elevation, the snow was heavy and sticking a growing at a rapid rate. I would say at my house and I'm sure through parts of Battle Ground, there has to be atleast 2-3 possibly 4 inches of fresh snow. Normally, I would be somewhat excited about this, but I'm not 10 years old anymore. Plus I'm sick. I have what I would describe as a mild cold. My voice is shot and my system has a lot of mucus in it, and it totally sucks. So far, I would say the weekend is shot due to me being sick and the snow storms that will be coming in tomorrow and throughout the weekend. Saturday I was planning on going out drinking with Phil, but that's even if he can get home. I'm sure the pass he has to drive through will be closed. I sure as hell don't want to go out in this weather. Driving to work and then driving home in the dark is good enough for me until this clears up. Looks like this will be around for sometime as well. Hopefully this cold I have won't have the same lasting effect as the snow and harsh winter we have going for us so far.

In other updates about me. The whole fucking Courtney drama escapade seems to finally be coming to an end. I've laid the groundwork for her to be fired, all that's left is the execution and my revenge will be complete. Even if she doesn't get fired for this plan my evil mind has hatched, it'll still be enjoyable to myself. I have also learned what may have been the real reason she decided to end any progress towards a relationship. Another guy. Which just makes me a little more pissed off. This was a guy who was texting her even when I was spending time with her. I would look at her phone to see who she was texting, and the name Adam came up. And now that seems to be her new guy. Was I just the warm up guy? It all seems like a lie to me now. But hey, I know that things have a way of working themselves out. Soon enough something bad will happen to Courtney and she'll hit her massive depression skid and hopefull she'll end her life by means of suicide. She's on that road already, it's just a matter of reaching the end.

What about me? I'll tell you what about me. Seeing as I was knocked down, I don't stay down for long. I'm already on the fast track to my next prospect. This all started on Monday when I came into work. One of my co-workers asked me if I was single, to which I replied with a "yes" Trina then proceeded to tell me about her friend, who she's been trying to hook up with a guy for quite sometime. Being as I am the guy most people seem to turn to now a days, I lisitin. I gave Trina my Myspace address and she gives it to her friend. I got the usual feedback today. "She thinks your cute" "She likes the same type of music" "She's really shy" I get how this works by now. I'm pretty much an expert at setting up dates and then screwing them up eventually. So I told Trina that I'll go for it. I've seen a few pics of her and she aint bad looking, I would say maybe a 7, which is do-able with little help from alcohol. So we'll see what happens with this girl. Her name is Erica (Gee does that name ring a bell from this past year?) and now you can consider her saved.

Bite The Hand That Bleeds

Dial 595-Escape [Friday
December 12th, 2008 at 11:27pm]
[ mood | optimistic ]

"Whoever appeals to the law aganist his fellow man is either a fool or a coward, whoever cannot take care of himself without that law is both. For a wounded man shall say to his assaliant. "If I die, you are forgiven. If I live, I will kill you." Such is the rule of honor."

Hearing that quote alone tends to give me a more clear perspective on things. As for right now I have crossed the hardest stages to overcome whenever something changes in my life that I don't want to happen to me. Stage 1: Disbelif. Stage 2: Questioning of ones self. Stage 3: Rage. Stage 4: Serious Rage. Stage 5: Revenge. The sixth and final stage: Closure.

The stage I have entered is stage 5. To update everyone on my current status, I haven't said much of anything to Courtney since Sunday, after she called me a pig and "hella fake" I figure that since the serious rage had past and all my ranting was done I figure I make my way to revenge. I text her back to let her know I'm sorry for what I did and said. She seemed to take to my forgiveness, but in a Larry David type screw up, I again say that wrong thing, which just pissed her off even more. I text her what I really ment by what I said. Telling her that calling me a degenerate rather than a pig wouldn't seem to piss anyone off would it?

Then on Wednesday she texted me asking me if she wanted to talk later. I agree, but never text her back that night since Lamb Of God's concert was more important. On Thursday, I text her telling her that if she wants to talk to me, that I can do so after work, to which she replied with this gem. "No thanks, I would rather never talk to you again." I ask her why and she replies "Stop talking to me. I'm done with you." I don't know what I did this time. I tried being an adult about this, and this is what I get?

Looking on her Myspace to see if more remarks were made about me, I come across this update on her page which read the following. "I've been told that I'm good as recycling shitty people back into my life. If your not a part of my life now, It's because YOUR A PIECE OF SHIT, and you'll never be a part of my life again." Obviously directed at me since that update was later that night. I reitirate my point. I try to be an adult and apologize and yet I get this.

I know that there is one girl at work in particular who has been in her head as of late. A girl I have never even spoken more than a few sentances to, but yet, she seems to want to make me look like the bad guy, and I would assume that she told Coutney some untrue things about me. This was the reason the "for sure relationship" fell apart in the first place. Andera opended her fucking mouth and all the shit spewed out. I've made no attempt to talk to Andera, and I sure as hell will make no attempt to talk to Courtney. Instead I have my plan to drive them both out of a job and out of my life for good. I won't go into detail of what my plan consists of.

Talking with various co-workers about this has actually brought up some kind of revalation to me. Not too many people were not actually very fond of Courtney. As one co-worker put it "She was nice at first, but has that tendency to be a total fucking bitch" With my story being told of what happend to me, many people had labled her as a psycho, manic depressive, bi-polar bitch, and skank among other things. I can't say that I disagree with any of those statements. My revenge will be sweet. Soon enough Courtney will be gone from Charter and I'll be able to go onto that sixth stage and close the case. She'll be gone just like all the other people who have annoyed me in the past. Megan, Robin and Alyssa. Of course, Alyssa left on her own will and didn't list me as a leaving for reason unlike the other two. Soon Courtney will be gone, and she'll know the reason why people don't disrespect me. It's because I won't give up. My mind games are powerfull and they have already begun. I've been told by a few people that she expects me to be sad and come crawling back. I would rather crawl through knives on a path to nowhere than crawl back to her. I know that everytime I walk by her I flip open my cell phone and smile and begin to text back the people who are on my side. So while I am running my own life devoid of depression, anixety and mood swings, she has to suffer through the fact that I may have been the best person for her. I could have saved her, but she is now deemed unsaveable. My journey to find a girlfriend will continue with even more knowledge, while her journey to stay afloat without the help of a compassionate guy goes down the wrong path.

Just who is the next person? I don't have any leads yet, but with this year being a milstone year for more going from girl to girl. I would assume that the next girl isn't too far from the present. That search will be in full effect, and with my enlisting the help of my co-workers to help me out, and them being more than willing to do so, it seems it'll be sooner rather than later. I leave this post with two more points. Consider the next girl who comes into my life saved. As for Courtney (who doesn't read this by the way) The one who manipulates the emotions the best is the victor.

Bite The Hand That Bleeds

Superhero Of The Computer Rage [Sunday
December 7th, 2008 at 10:27pm]
[ mood | mischievous ]

Apparently last Thursday's post was not an overeaction by any means. As a matter of fact, it's only gone downhill from there. Now, I'm just as angry as I was 3 days ago if not more so.

So to continue on from my last post. I was still getting ignored pretty much through the weekend. I got some texts from Courtney on Friday and Saturday, but nothing of importance. Bascially, I had already known that Saturday night's plans was pretty much shot down, so she can go hang with her friends. So assuming it was too late to make any plans with other friends, I just accepted an invintation from a co-worker to watch the De La Hoya vs Pacquiao boxing match at his apartment with other people. On a side note, the boxing match was pretty one-sided and De La Hoya was getting pounded, and ended up quitting after the 8th round, causing half the guests to start clapping and the others to groan. I was going for Pacquiao so I was on the winning side. After that match was over. I stayed over for a bit to finish off my beer and chat with Shaun and Marcus, and watched as Jeremy who was the party host, who drank too much get into an arguement with his girlfriend, to which Marcus and I took some pleasure in watching. The 3 of us took this as our que to leave. Jermey wanted to go to a bar to continue drinking, but he was too drunk and we would get cut off in no time. Around this time, Courtney was off getting drunk, while I had no other options but to go home and call it an early night.

Then today it was the revelation, that for lack of better term, sent me over the edge. I got a text from Courtney. After the small talk, I got right down to it. I asked her two questions. The first one being if she liked me. To which she said as a friend. I then asked if she saw this possibly turning into a relationship. No. I'm not her style. So instead of telling me this possibly a week ago, I had to force the answer outta her. Now I know why I was ignored and all my plans went to shit. I just had a perfect plan just crumble before me... Again. All of a sudden all the past rejections came back and just made me feel like shit. Feeling the need to escalate this to levels that I felt neccessary. I asked her a series of other questions. I'm certin that herpes is the main reason. Her stance on "We have nothing in common" was her objection. Yet, we have nothing in common. We seem to share the interest in movies, some music and alcohol. Was that not enough? How about all the times you wanted to cuddle with me, kiss me and tell me that you were falling for me? Just being nice? Then she has the nerve to call me a pig and a fake when I admitted I faked showing emotion in the form of crying to make her fall for me even more? Like what I did was so much worse that what she did. Now, I do feel fucking used.

That's not even really why I'm pissed. It's the fact that I'm the good guy. Stuff like this is not supposed to happen to me. Yet, it's been the same old thing time and time again. I can't even count how many times I've been rejected or used in the past 3 or 4 years. It's fucking insane that this is happening to me. And people wonder why I'm emotionally desensitized. It's because whenever I make the mistake of opening up, I get shit on. This time was no different, even though I thought it would be. People were noticing a change. I was being nicer. I actually had something that I was proud of, someone who was bringing out the best in me. Now, just like that. It's all done. It's all fucking gone. I've taken a strong stance aganist bitching, but why does this happen to me all the time? Do I have a big sign that says "Open for being fucked over?" How am I being overlooked? Why am I always the one who ends up miserable? Why am I the one who has to go back to the drawing board and start over while people who I am better than go on to be happy? It's an injustice that I get fucked over, while all these other people who don't deserve any kind of happiness get it all. I do not deserve this treatment.

I'm tired of being the good guy. What has being the good guy done for me? It's turned me into a doormat. I'm done being the good guy. From now on. It's all about me. Me me me. Why should I be nice? Knowing now that my 2008 main goal will not be reached in the next 24 days. I've come up with a new goal. In the next 24 days, I want to cause 1 person a day to get angry with me. The more miserable I make them, the better it is for me. Just in time for Christmas, a season where everyone should be happy and joyfull. Yet, I'll still be here in the same position. I don't fucking care anymore. I'm no longer this happy go lucky good guy. I'm the villian now. I will look for ways to rip you off, or to use you for my own personal gain. I dont care if your a stranger or not. If you get in my way, then you'll pay. It's time for me to do the shitting on. I just want to cause misery now and it's all for MY enjoyment. The only people I won't fuck over are my real friends. I don't see any reason why I should, none of them have fucked me over. The minute they do, I'll take my vendetta aganist them. It's time for a change. No more Mr. Nice guy. Consider myself saved.

Bite The Hand That Bleeds

Borders And Shading [Thursday
December 4th, 2008 at 10:23pm]
[ mood | touched ]

I may be overeacting a bit, but I don't like to be ignored, but it's exactly what seems to be going on right now.

I guess it seems no matter how hard I try to get anything going, it all comes to nothing but shit, which tends to piss me off just a little more each time it happens. I'm tired of this bullshit already and nothing has even really started with Courtney yet. I guess you can say that were "dating" however, I don't claim to be her boyfriend, and I don't claim that Courtney is my girlfriend. And it this time, I'm not sure if I ever will.

All I want to do is hang out with her, and spend some time with her, but that only seems to happen at short bursts at work or when shes totally drunk. How excellent for me. Whenever I try to setup any kind of date or anything with her, she either comes up with an excuse about how depressed she is or how she's tired or some other bullshit. Then, she'll go and hang out with her hippie friends, who more the less are total losers and need to learn how to stop loving the earth and each other, drop the bong, and get a fucking job! Then, when she gets drunk, guess who's on the the very top of the list? Me. Being the dumbass that I am some of the time, what do I do? I drive my ass to go get her so she makes it home safe. I'm such a nice guy, yet what happens when I want to do something that may help pave the road to the relationship I thought this would eventually lead to? I get shot down.

Take today for instance. I asked her if she wanted to hang out, she wasn't sure. Okay, I can deal with that. Then when she says she will text me to let me know. I get one text. All it says is "Hi" Then nothing more. I reply a few times, but still nothing. I even call her, but yet no answer. So much for having her phone on her all the time. Then, this Saturday I want to take her out, but now she's unsure, cause she might have something better to do. Let me get this straight. You really really like me, but don't want to hang out with me? Hmmm, strange isn't it? Well, you know I have better things to do than spend my money on a girl who for all I know could just be faking me out.

I shouldn't be suprised at all by this. That's been the constant thing for me the past 4 years. And that thing is FAILURE! I'm not a bad guy, I don't have any motives. All I'm looking for is maybe a relationship with some meaning to it. Yet, every single girl I have met this year, has in one way or another pretty much denied me on that. I honestly don't think that there are many guys out there better than me. I'm sure there are several guys better than me, but none of them seems to be around the same area I am. Yet, being the nice guy hasn't gotton me much now has it? I've said why I'm a good guy before, so I'll spare everyone that this time. All that people need to know, is that I am better than a lot of people. A good looking intellinget man, who has money and a nice car and a better job than anyone else I know. I treat my dates like they are VIP's. I always pay. I always mind my manners. I always make them feel important. Yet thats not enough.

I'm not afraid to admitt that I'm better than a lot of people. That includes the majority of my friends. A lot of them don't have anything I have, or have very little of what I have. Money, Good looks, A job, a car, and confidence. I'll challenge anyone who's reading this to name 5 reasons why your better than I am. I bet nobody can do it. And don't give me any of that "I've found true happiness" shit. Being happy doesn't get you anywhere. Not one single person I know can say they are better than me. Cause nobody I know has more of the stuff that really matters in this world than me. I'm tired of being the humble guy. I'm tired of being the nice guy. I'm tired of being everyone's savior. It's time for me to really embrace who I really am. The self-absorbed ass that I've become. I tried being the good guy, I tried to save people, but nobody wants to be saved. Well guess what? I'm not here to help anyone anymore. It's all about me. I'm going to focus on me. And you know who made me this way? Every single person who made the very poor choice to not be with me, but with someone else. It's time that I start worrying about me, and forget about other people. I just don't fucking care about your issues anymore.

As for Courtney. I'll keep her around for now. The minute something better along. Then she's done. Consider her says limited. It's going to take some extra effort on her part to change my mind. Maybe she can change my mind, and show me that she's worth my time, but I expect her to fumble that oppertunity hard. Face it people. I'm just better than a lot of you, time to face reality. You gotta have what I have in order to be better than me. I don't see anyone striving to make those changes soon anyways. Then again, if any of you are actually smart, you should have already known that.

3 Saved | Bite The Hand That Bleeds

As I Begin To Search For I [Sunday
November 30th, 2008 at 9:29pm]
[ mood | tired ]

With the Thanksgiving holiday over and done with, everyone is starting to switch over to such holidays like Chanukah, Kwanza (Which is a bullshit holiday) and Christmas. All I can say is that this recent Thanksgiving Holiday weekend, was actually pretty fun, I got a chance to spend some time winding down and hanging out with friends, which of course includes 4 nights of drinking. Allow me to explain.

First off, Phil came back on Saturday. To avoid confusion it was 8 days ago. So of course we went out to Oscars, where I met his friend James, an asian kid who didn't mind my racist type joking, and actually spit beer in my face when he started to cough. Courtney of course was supposed to join me us, but backed out and ended up getting drunk with her friends, even though she wasn't feeling social. The night ended with Phil getting drunk and having to take him home. Courtney also begged me to come get her in Portland, but being a little upset that she backed out on our plans, I let her whittle her time in Portland and sober up so she can drive herself home.

Sunday I wake up with a few texts from Courtney, who was sorry for the other night. I decided to forgive her and we go out to dinner that night and go see the movie Twilight, which wasn't too bad, but still a little too much of a chick flick for me to actually give it an unbiased review. After kissing her in her car, she tells me that I need to learn to loosed up when we kiss. My neck was sore, and in an akward position, but somehow, that's not what she ment. Confused, I tell her I'll work on it and then go to sleep.

Monday after work, I go to Hooters with Phil and James, and catch the end of the Monday Night Football game, which saw the New Orleans Saints manhandle the Green Bay Packers. After we eat, we go back to Oscars and watch as Phil gets drunk again and having to drive him back home, and loosing his cell phone in the process. After searching my car and not finding it. He leaves only to come back 30 mins later and break into my home and come into my room. I freak out on him and we find his cell phone. He finally leaves. Can anyone survive a night without their fucking cell phone?

Wednesday during work, Courtney got really upset when she was told the "real reason" and how I got Herpes. After dispelling the rumor and having her calm down, I go with her to the mall where we spend two hours as Verizon transfers her cell numbers onto her new phone. After that we go home to our seperate houses and I decline her invite to spend the night at her house since I was tired.

Thursday which was Thanksgiving, was spent alone. My bro went to his girlfriends house and my dad had to work. I end up going to the bar with Phil and we drank and Phil of course got drunk. I wasn't in the best of moods since Courtney was having a bad night and got a little angry at the fact that I wanted to help her out. So I stopped talking to her. Phil was beyond drunk and caused a little ruckus at Shari's and prank called Rachel, to which she called me a fucker for it later.

Friday was my normal day off, so I spent it watching TV as opposed to shopping like the mass public was doing. Friday night was spent with Phil and Courtney as we ate at Red Robin and then went to the bar, where Courtney got drunk as fuck. When we were leaving, some guy proceed to try and put the moves on her, right up until I walked up, put my arm around her and asked if she was ready to go and she got up and the guy who I think was named Troy said "Your with him?" to which Courtney replied "Yea, isn't he lucky?" Troy sat there dumbfounded and I shoot him a evil/arrogant smile, similar to the one Edge would give. We walk out to my car and Troy, who was drunk drove by and started doing more cat calls to Courtney. I intervene and ask him if he should be driving to which he tells me that "You shouldn't be fucking talking" and gives me an evil stare for a few seconds. I first give him a confused look, then I give him another evil smile to let him know, that not only am I taking the girl home, but I have a better car than he does and he leaves. I take Phil back to his truck and take Courtney home and spend the night at her house, where not shortly after I lay down, she grabs me and starts making out with me. I get on top of her and she rips my shirt off and we proceed to grind each other and I managed to get part of her top off. We stop not to long after since she was drunk.

Saturday I wake up in her bed and after a few mins of talking, her mother of all people walk in, I'm sure it might have been a little bit of a shock to see her only daughter in bed with a guy with no shirt on. I smile and wave at her and say "Hey, how you doin?" Which was retorted with "You have 5 seconds to get out of her bed and get the fuck out of here!" Actually, that wasn't true, it went something like this. "You must be Zakk. Ive heard so much about you. It's so good to meet you. Would you like some breakfast?" I decline. Then after getting dressed, I met her step-dad who wasn't very talkitive, not that suprised me at all. And one of her younger brothers who just gave me the waive. I then leave and go home after taking Courtney back to her home. Saturday night was spent with Amara and Rachel for a movie night. And then for me it was back to get Courtney who was drunk and needing a ride back to her house. I go and spend the night at her house again. This time with just kissing involved.

In closing, with December 1st just being tomorrow. I have reached 44 months of being single, and with only 32 days left until the end of of the year. It's crunch time to try and get this in motion. Courtney did tell Phil on Friday that she wants to be my girlfriend, and when I asked her, she changed her mind and wants to get to know me even more before commiting. I can honestly say that after 44 months, I'm damn good and ready to end this dry streak and get back into the relationship game. This is the absolute closest I have gotton to getting a relationship within the past 3+ years. I feel this is my time and I don't intended on wasting it. It's time to save myself from being a single white male.

Bite The Hand That Bleeds

I Wish That I Could Be Your Evil In A Closet [Friday
November 21st, 2008 at 9:28pm]
[ mood | listless ]

The long stretch of road that is my life continues, and of course with it there are several suprises.

When I ended my last post by stating that Courtney and I were to do a movie night last Friday, I had intended to update all about it, but of course never got around to it till just now. Before date number 2, Phil decided to call me, while drunk at 2pm to tell me not to fuck it up, which brings up the whole 2nd date curse I have going and how nothing ever makes it past the 2nd date. After telling Phil to not fucking jinx me I hang up on him feeling a little irritated. The second date could have gone a lot better. I took Courtney to Beaches where we ate and then went back to my house to watch movies. I rented Rob Zombie's version of Halloween and we also started Dawn Of The Dead, during that movie, I noticed that Courtney looked rather sick. I asked if she was alright and she responded with a no. I took her back to her car and she went home. Getting home I was a little let down with how the date ended. I went to sleep figuring I would make it up tomorrow at the concert.

I wake up Saturday morning and checked my phone for text messages, which I had a few. After telling me she's been throwing up all morning. I figured that food poisoning was what she had. With that, she was out of comission all day and was not able to make the Mudvayne concert, which left Chelo and I to go to the show. Mudvayne put on a damn good show. The Roseland was packed and it was hard to try and get a good spot. We got one and just stood on the balcony and drank our beers. Chelo proceeded to get drunk at the show and wander off a few times. Trying to meet the lead singer of 10 Years, while I enjoyed Mudvayne's set. I did manage to sell the 3rd ticket to some dude in the parking lot for 40.00, which was more than I paid for it. I take Chelo home who pretty much was passed out.

Wednesday was another concert. This time, it was In Flames and All That Remains. I again go to the Roseland with Chelo, and this show wasn't nearly as packed as Mudvayne, but this was a badass show. Chelo proceeded to get drunk again and this time made me wait in the parking lot for 20 minutes after the show, only to tell me he was getting a ride home from his friends that were also at the show. After telling him to get his hoodie, his friends car comes up to mine, with all his friends giving me a scowl. I roll my window down and drop Chelo's hoodie on the ground and smile and drive off. That totally pissed me off to make me wait that long.

Yesterday was indeed a good day, atleast after I got out of work. Courtney and I decided to hang out after work. We went to Cactus Ya Ya to get something to eat and to drink. After that, we decied to try and go back to my house and watch some movies. This time, it went off without any incident. After trying to watch some George Carlin, I decided to turn it off and turn the radio on. My house was freezing cold, which allowed me to be able to hold her to me for warmth. After a while of doing that and talking about stupid things, I was able to score a kiss. Which lead to several different sessions of kissing. Eventually falling asleep while in the cuddle position. I had to get up at 8 am to get her back to her car since she had to work today.

After getting home and checking my phone since I left it in my room. I got a text from her thanking me for the night. I have a very very strong feeling that this is the end of the long road for me. I know I've said this before a few times, but all the other times I never recieved any sort of I guess you can say romantic texts from any of them. I have recieved several from Courtney though. I can say that I really do like her and I know she feels the same way about me. I guess it's only a matter of time until the time of being single is over. And with 40 days left until I need to meet my goal. I think I'll have it beat by atleast 30 days or more.

Tomorrow, we'll be hitting the bar and Phil will be back from Pullman, so lets see if she can pass the Booze Brothers test, which I'm sure she will. Plus, I already know I'm ending up back at her house anyways, so it's not like I have to worry about driving. Good times are indeed ahead.

Bite The Hand That Bleeds

My Sweet Shadow. To You I Look No More [Tuesday
November 11th, 2008 at 10:43pm]
[ mood | jubilant ]

As I sat in the familiar setting that was the Red Robin resturant by the Vancouver Mall, I came to the sudden conclusion that this was no ordinary girl, and that maybe she should have been the starter all along. Remember that show "The Wonder Years"? The voice in my head said that very thing, instead of the usual muzak and various Joe Pesci phrases. I guess I had that Kevin Arnold type moment.

Saturday night was a good night, that almost didn't happen. I had made plans to go out with Courtney after several weeks of texting and Myspace messages. I figured it was worth a shot after sending Kareena packing. However, Courtney wasn't feeling up to it, which is an excuse I hear all the time from a lot of people. After figuring that I may be shit outta luck, I start to make phone calls. First I call Shane, who of course I hung with on Friday after the both of us went to go see the movie Role Models, which by the way was very funny, and I'm really starting to take notice of Paul Rudd's acting. He plays the best jerk. Anyways, Shane and I set the plans to go drunk bowling, well atleast I did. Then, after some time, I texted Courtney back and asked if she was sure that she wanted to stay in, she accepted my invintation to go out for a bite to eat.

While waiting for her to arrive, I sit in my car while playing some Shinedown, of course I wasn't nervous, as I shouldn't be anyways. I meet up with her outside. I think we spent atleast 2 1/2 hours. I had lost track of time, and then my phone goes off, as does hers. Shane calls me asking what the hell I was doing. I forgot about bowling. Then after paying the bill, we walk out and bid farewell. The texting continues. I proceed to get drunk at Big Als.... again. Shane, his cousin, Nathan and my ol' drinking buddy Jared from July was there. I was told to have behaved this time, which was amazing. While being driven home, I was still awake and texting and not talking much. Courtney, who was drunk as well, sent me a text asking for me to cuddle with her. I find out she is in downtown Vancouver, however, it was a no go for my DD, who was tired and didn't wanna drive that far. After my failed attempt to convince him otherwise, I had to decline, and thus thought my shot was runied. I had to use the old line "Your fucking warned." As well as "You Motherfucker you."

I get home, and proceed to walk up to my room without falling down or throwing up and go to bed without incident. After she texted me on Sunday, we pretty much made light of the fact of what she texted me, she was apologetic to me for her actions. For me to be on the other side of that was something new. I of course, did not mind a single bit.

Here comes the best part. While watching the football game last night and texting back and forth she suggets doing a movie night. I jump on that idea as it sounds like a good idea. I ask if Friday is good for her, and she agreed. Once again, I'm on the other side of this, as I'm usually asking for a second date. So once again, this is new for me. I'm not opposed to being on the other side, it's nice to get asked rather than asking.

So it's set. Friday night is going to be Movie Night. And no, not the usual Movie Night where Amara and I rip apart stupid movies with horrible acting and recockulos story lines. This will be a different Movie Night. I'll still make my jokes of course, but anyone who knows me, knows what my intentions are. And I'm sure I know what her intentions are. I'm looking forward to this. Oh, and did I mention the follwing day we're going to Mudvayne? Yea, cause that's whats going to happen. And only 1 question will remain. Will this be the best save yet? Consider this weekend saved.

Bite The Hand That Bleeds

I Like You Better Dead. I'm Better Off Alone. [Tuesday
November 4th, 2008 at 10:23pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

So it's come to this, Barry Obama will be the next president of the U.S.A. I voted for Obama. So we'll see how 2009-2013 goes and see if he can give us change like he promised us the past 12 months. Am I excited for this change? Not really. I'm just glad that fuck-head Bush will be out soon.

One more thing before I get onto the bulk of this post. On Sunday October 26th, Chris Jericho lost the World Heavyweight Championship to Batista. Needless to say I was pretty bummed about that. Until last night, when Chris Jericho regained the World Heavyweight Title from Batista in a cage match. Jericho is now a 5 time World Champion and will now defend the title aganist John Cena at the Survivor Series.


Now, the important part. I was so sure that my streak was going to end soon with the latest prospect. Well, we can now put Kareena in with the rest of the former prospects. I was getting the feeling that maybe she didn't want to hang out with me anymore. So after several failed attempts to try and hang out with her, I got to the bottom of it. I asked her when she thinks we can go Mini-Golfing, and she replied that she didn't know. I figured, I might as well come clean with how I thought of her. I wrote the following, which may seem a little unlike me, but it could have been way sappier. " I see. Well I kinda wanted to tell you this in person, but when Alec came to me asking for me to go on a date with you, I accepted with the intention of doing a favor for a friend. But after getting to know you over the past month, my mindset has changed. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I like you. Your a different kind of person and head and shoulders above anyone else I've gone on a date with or have dated. And believe me, that is true." She responded by pretty much telling me that she didn't feel the same way. Knowing that the starting QB was on her way out. I felt, the need to exersize a little of my Edge attitude from earlier in the decade and say "I understand, not everyone can handle my sheer awesomeness" To that there was no reply, I would assume in disgust on her part of the arrogance of that last parting shot. I guess the road to maturity was a little deceptive eh? I'm not suprised by this at all, nor am I angry. She was mature about it, and was truthfull from what I can tell. It reminded me of the way Megan broke the news to me and how I felt afterwards. Momentarily stunned, but I was easily able to brush it off. But now as I continue on my road to end this streak and as Kareena has been deemed unsaveable I move on to my backup plan. I look ahead and see another girl who has taken an intrest in me. A little change from last time. I've been talking with the former backup plan named Courtney for a little while now, and she seems more adapt to my lifestyle, which I am still trying to slow down by the way. She is a free spirit, not caring what anybody thinks of her, likes beer, likes horror movies, and most importantly likes metal music. Only bad thing is that I work with her, not like that's stopped me before. So as I promote Courtney to the starting job and send Kareena packing to play for another team. One can ask the questions, will this be the girl who will end the streak? Who will be the backup plan if this one turns out to not be that person? Who will I save next? Who shot J.R.? We'll have to wait and see. Except for who shot J.R. It was all a dream.

Bite The Hand That Bleeds

Touch Of Red, Break Away [Friday
October 31st, 2008 at 10:08pm]
[ mood | thirsty ]

So it's Halloween night, not to mention it's also Friday night, so what am I doing at home? Just killing time before I head my ass off to a party. I just have a few things to just kind of blog about.

It's almost the 1st of November, which means that I will have now been a single white male for a whopping 43 months, which is breaking the old record of 42, which I set earlier this month. I don't know why I do this still. 3+ years of this and this is still mentioned. I guess it's just a little comical, that someone as good looking as myself (Don't roll your eyes, every damn person knows I'm only telling the truth) is still single, and not getting laid on a basis of which I would like. Only two months left until I need to reach my goal. I have to enter 2009 saying that I had or have a girlfriend that started dating me in the year 2008. Even if it has to be on December 31st at 11:59pm, I am confident that I can make this happen. I think I'm getting pretty close now, and with the several close calls I've had this year, I think it's my time now.

Speaking of it being my time. Of course we all know where this will lead to. The person in my sights is none other than Kareena. I'm trying so hard to stay on her good side and not say anything stupid or offensive to her. I've toned down a bit, but I'm still that same guy who likes to crack jokes and sometimes cross that line. In any case, I don't ever remember myself ever wanting to try so hard to make a relationship happen with someone. I won't list the previous prospects, but you get my point. I guess, that's because Kareena is different than any of the other girls I've dated or even known for that matter. Never before had I ever really felt like I connected with anyone on a date. Most of my dates have ended with me in such disbelif of how much of a moron the other person was, that I was changing my game plan constantly. With Kareena, I have the same game plan, and I don't think I need to change it. I just feel that this is right. I know for a fact that I haven't felt this way about any other girl, not even Kylie, who many would consider my first real relationship. I did have feelings for her, but most of those feeling were of a more sexual nature. I've always hoped that something good would come out of being single for this long, and I think it finally has.

What if she doesn't feel the same way about you? I'm sure if she didn't atleast like me, she wouldn't have agreed with me for a second date or joined me for lunch last week. And if anything doesn't become of this, which is hopefully not the case, than I do have a backup plan. I'll have to move on to the second string QB. I think I've made my point clear on this whole situation.

My favorite sports teams have a way of suprising me this season. Jacksonville is now 3-4 after loosing to the Browns last weekend, because our special teams is fucked and fumbled the ball on a kick return at the 20 yard line, allowing the Browns to get another feild goal and win when David Garrard and the offense didn't make it to the end zone to tie the game. Speaking of Garrard, he is still an impressive QB, it's just the team hasn't quite caught up to speed with him yet, although our former backup wide reciever Matt Jones is looking solid and is putting up strong numbers. My 2nd favorite team the Carolina Panthers are doing much better than Jacksonville at a record of 5-2 In hockey, the Anaheim Ducks were off to a slow start, but have since kicked it up with Corey Perry and Teemu Selanne looking good. However, we just lost to the Vancouver Canucks, it had to go to a shootout which lasted 13 rounds. If the Ducks keep playing at this high level they will rival the San Jose Sharks, who are in my honost opinion, the best team in the Western Confrence thus far. Still lot's of hockey left, and anything can happen, like a major collapse or a huge surge. Hopefully, the latter for the Ducks.

Bite The Hand That Bleeds

Songs About My Emotions Dead And Alone [Thursday
October 23rd, 2008 at 10:18pm]
[ mood | sick ]

So two things to get this started. I did get manage to get a second date with Kareena, as I'm sure most of you know. I tried for this weekend, but she has a wedding to go to, and of course next Friday being Halloween and my plans for the night may require me to go to 3 different places/parties. It looks like it'll be November 1st or November 2nd. I would prefer November 1st, since that is my last Saturday off before the new schedule at work goes into effect, bt with her "going all out" she said it may be a recovery day, and I've been there before. So November 2nd looks like it'll be the day. With my history, it's no secret that the 2nd date is where it all gets fucked up in the past. I usually never make it past the 2nd date, cause afterwards, I've headed into friendville and the population is me for a while before I move on. I figure I may try something new, maybe buying some flowers might make my intentions a little more clear. Of course I've been joking around at work with Elizabeth about this situation and if it doesn't work out. It's like football. Kareena is the starting QB and Courtney is the backup QB. Elizabeth is working on trying to get Courtney to try and talk to me, which isn't working well. Which means I may have to get this shit started, that way if the starting QB goes down, the backup can start. Hopefully, it won't go that way. I like the current starting QB, and having to bench her would be a shame. It's almost like taking out David Garrard and putting in Cleo Lemon, I don't wanna have to do it, but may have to if it doesn't work. Here's to hoping that this works out past the second date.

Last night, I went to go see Iced Earth with Into Eternity. This being the 3rd time I've seen Into Eternity, it was just awesome. I totally dig Into Eternity and seeing their new shit live was just really cool. Stu didn't come to the merch booth so I could go talk to him. Iced Earth was cool, but they got boring after a while and I left at the end of their set. On the way home, I was going 66 in a 50 and was pulled over by a cop. Who asked me why I was going so fast. Not needing another ticket on my record, I told the cop that I had diarrhea and was almost home. The cop, who looked at me, then asked if I had anything to drink which I hadn't. The cop then looked at me with a disgusted look on his face and told me to "Get outta here and go to the restroom before you drive next time" I tell the cop thanks and leave. After I roll my window up, I laugh to myself and call him a sucker. So that my friends is how to get out of a ticket. After that, I realized that I had just saved myself from higher insurance. Not only can I save others, I can also save myself.

Bite The Hand That Bleeds

Open Scars. The Quiet Place. [Monday
October 20th, 2008 at 9:56pm]
[ mood | thankful ]

As I'm sure many of you are aware. This post will be in regards to one thing. Another step forward in the seemingly never ending quest to actually find a girlfriend, or potential girlfriend who doesn't repulse me, or eventually turn their back on me and leave hanging. It's been a long road, but somehow I think it may be ending soon. Then again, I've been very wrong before, so I'm not making any bold predictions. But allow me to explain.

I did go on a date with Kareena, and to be honost, in my mind, this was still just a favor to Alec and maybe to a lesser extent his wife Kayla to "save" Kareena from the depths of which she had fallen. With only one picture of her to go on, I figured that while she ranked atleast a 7 in my book, and driving over to her apartment, I was cranking some Into Eternity and Shinedown and not really giving a crap. I figured that this was just a one time thing. I give her a call to ask which street her apartment was located and oddly enough, it was the same complex Megan lived in. Bypassing the fact that it's weird that I have gone on dates with two girls who live in the same complex, I park and walk up a flight of stairs and walk up to the door.

I see some punk kids ride around my car looking very keenly at it, I walk down the stairs and ask them if I can help them. They compliment my car and reach to touch it. "Don't touch the car junior!" I snap at them. "Only myself or a hot naked chick can touch my car, and your no hot chick, and you sure as hell ain't me. So beat it" The kids ride off making snide comments. I then walk back up the stairs and knock on the door.

The door opens and with the first glance, I knew that I was wrong. The picture on Myspace was wrong, she looked nothing like the picture Alec showed me. In fact, I thought I had the wrong apartment. However, the girl at the door, saw me and with an excited tone in her voice she told me to come in. I must have the right place. As she turned to grab her purse, my jaw dropped in sudden awe. This chick was way way hotter than I had seen. She made the jump from 7 to 9 in a half. I'm not joking.

After getting into my car and heading off to dinner it was small talk at first. Olive Garden was her choice, a little better of a suggestion than Taco Bell, which was famously brought up by Megan. While at dinner, and still in awe of the sheer beauty (I use that word rarely) that was before me. I was able to hold it together and actually come off as a cool customer, while deep inside I was ready to piss my pants. I didn't eat much, which is a side effect of having my nerves all wound up so tight, and I proceeded to talk to much and tell stories that maybe I shouldn't have told. Stories from the old Rated R Rockstar era. She even got on the subject of how her family has a history of skin cancer and even went as far to tell me that her mother died of cancer, which I guess you can show a major sign of trust just saying that on a first date. After expressing my condolences, I then told her that I know how she feels, since my mother also died of cancer. The weird thing was that my mom died on Christmas Eve, and her's died on Christmas day. Although several years apart. I was able to tell the story of what happend for the first time without crying a little bit, which is something that I've never even attempted to talk about with even my closest friends. I found that to be something special. Finally, someone knows how I feel.

I made the obvious choice to go. While at her apartment, I was introduced to her cat, which tried to scratch me. We pretty much just sat there and talked relating stories back and forth. I really enjoyed myself, and she said she enjoyed herself and that we should do it again. I got my hug and left. Making sure I was out of sight of her peep hole from the door, I start walking all cocky like and smile a cocky smile, sorta like how Chris Jericho did during his first real heel run in the WWE, nobody could see me, but I didn't care. I figured that I scored big and changed my game plan from saving her to seeing what I could possibly accomplish.

Then here comes the speed bump. In my never ending quest to find out results. I texted her last night asking if she had fun, to which she replied that she did, but that she felt like a pig since she was the only one eating. To which I replied that I hadn't noticed, and was able to admitt that it was my fault that I didn't eat. I also apologized for all the talking I did and for the stories I told that were showing off my more wildchild, booze hound side. To which she did tell me that she was a little turned off by it. If this was two years ago, I would have probably told her to fuck off and scoff of that the fact that she couldn't roll with me on her best and my worst day. But, I appreciated the fact that she was honost. I then asked if it could be possible to take her out again, to which she said that it depended if I would eat more and talk less. To which I could have replied "Oh lordy lordy it'll never happen again" Guessing that she my take that as me mocking her. I replied with a simple yes. So I guess I made it over that speed bump with minimal damage to my reputation.

In closing, I would like to say that I should and will attempt to see what I can make of this. To say I was enchanted by her is a little much. Let's just put it into simple terms. I enjoyed this date, more than any other ones I've been on. Considering this one didn't end with me driving off as fast as possible, wanting to get drink afterwards, or getting yelled at in front of the other couple. And the fact that shocked a lot of people, is that I'm willing to turn the personality down, just so I can make the date more enjoyable for the other person. I guess that's a sign of myself growing up and maturing, which was something I refused to do for a long time. I guess that my body and mind has grown tired of the degenerate lifestlye I've been doing for the past 13 years. All the the stuff I'm known and loved for has taken it's toll on me.

Like I've been saying, i've been feeling pain in my body or have felt some sort of sickness for a little over a year now. I think my body is telling me that running around every weekend, either commiting some act of random mischeif or drinking till I fall over drunk is doing some damage. I'm gonna use this time to calm down and hopefully heal myself of all the sickness feeling and rid the pain in my body. I don't see a better oppertunity to slow down and take refuel myself than now. And maybe I can beat my deadline of having a girlfriend before the end of the year comes. Only 72 days left. But as always, anything is subject to change, and we'll have to wait and see.

2 Saved | Bite The Hand That Bleeds

Filth Runs In Every New Day [Monday
October 13th, 2008 at 10:06pm]
[ mood | devious ]

Sometimes I wonder how I can potentially get myself involved in situations I don't see playing out so good. Of course allow my elaborate in great detail, which will include jokes and going way off topic as usual.

So we all know that my goal by December 31st 2008 is to have obtained a girlfriend right? Good. How is that going so far. Better than previous years, but still there are a few strike outs. First we had Tawney, who tunred out to be an idiot. Megan (who came into the picture late last year) wanted to be just friends, which was the way I was heading. We have Brittney, who I lost intrest in do to her still being in that high school frame of mind. 4th we had Erika, who after a while of leading me on decided to leave me hanging. Then we have the latest in that long line, which was Kristy, which ended up being a joke anyways, especially after my "novelty" wore off. Fuck Kristy, Kristy sucks. Oh wait, I did fuck her. Score one for the bad guy!

Now we have up at the plate, prospect number 6. Lets call her Kareena for arguments sake. Personally, this is a favor for Alec and Kayla for me to get her back on her feet and back to the level of confidence she should be at, but with the recent text messages and her thinking about me more and more, this could backfire on the whole plan. From what I've just recently found out. Being the good guy will eventually lead to a girl trusting you, which may or most likley lead into a relationship.

So what's the fucking problem? Isn't this what your wanting within the next 2 1/2 months? Yes, but here's the thing. With my current mindset, I'm turning more and more into a "womanizer" or a person like Charlie Sheen's character on 2 and a Half Men. And while that's normal for a 22 year old, there is that other side of me that feels guilty. Not because of being a womanizer, this is something different.

Here is the tangible or x-factor if you will. Let me ask a question. If prospect number 6 is up to bat, how will prospect number 7 be able to bat knowing there is not enough room on the god damn plate!?! Yes thats right. Two potential girls are interested in me. The 7th prospect let's call her Courtney. This all came to light a while ago, when I made the off hand comment that she was "hot" My work side kick Elizabeth then started up conversations with her. Thus, finding out what I know now. That this Courtney chick thinks I'm soooo cute. Well, we all knew that. Now, Courtney is a little behind the curb, because she hasn't worked up enough intestinal fortitude to even talk to me, and right now it's at the point where I'm sick of that crap and want to go talk to her, but Elizabeth is holding my ass in check and saying she'll take care of it. Right now, Courtney is in Hawaii, which I will be visiting in Febuary for the Pro Bowl! So that gives me enough time to scope out Kareena.

As we all know, I'm slow getting to any sort of finish. I can see what's going to happen. I'm going to be talking and hanging out with Kareena and then talking and hanging out with Courtney. Then, from what may happen, which I hope doesn't. Both girls will start falling for me (And how couldn't they, I'm just so damn likeable) And I'll be stuck with two choices. Stop seeing Kareena, which would result in her falling back to the depths of which I'm working so hard to pull her up from, thus causing me to fail to "save her" and having me being labled as an asshole, and get on the bad side of Kayla, which will prevent Alec from coming out to play when he comes back. Or I could stop seeing Courtney, which may result in work place drama, and her telling all these other chicks that I'm an asshole, thus causing me to not be able to go after any other chicks at work due to being labled an asshole.

I may be over reacting to this, but what the hell is going to happen if this does become the case? I like to give everyone a chance, who is attractive, or possibly a good lay. Plus, I'm in the game now. Sooner or later a girl will become mine. But it's what happens before, that will be the tale in this book worth telling. I guess the major question is. Who will it be? Kareena? Courtney? None of the Above? Who will I save? Or will I have to save myself? Or will someone have to save me?

Bite The Hand That Bleeds

So Impressed, Lost The Faith In All I Had [Thursday
October 9th, 2008 at 10:41pm]
[ mood | horny ]

I'm going to be very honost with everyone. I try to be as honost as possible without revealing too much about myself, but this time it's all different.

Do you even wonder why this country is going to shit? Where did everything go wrong? Let me tell you, because I know. The reason this country why the country is in such peril today is not all the fault of the government. It's not all the fault of the big huge corperations. It's all not the fault of the coruppt offcials and public servents. It's just as much of all the citzens fault.

The reason this country sucks is because of all of you. There are so many god damn stupid people out there. Every day I talk and interact with all these dumb fucking people. How can almost an entire population of people be so ignorant and so fucking stupid? I'm at a loss of words obviously.


I'm embarassed to be an American citizen. Way too many people in this country are either dumb, ignorant, greedy, overweight, underweight, or just plain assholes. Only one country has all these people in mass numbers and it's the USA. Does countrys like Japan, Korea, Norway, Sweeden, Finland, South Africa, Italy, Germany or France have these problems? I think not!

If you think I'm talking down to you people, I am. I know many of you will blame the education system for your poor intelligence, but you know what? The reason why the education system is going down the drain is because we have to keep lowering the passing grade to pass your dumbass fucking kids! With lower standerds come lower results. Too bad this world is so close to being idiot proof, so that natural selection can come full force and whipe all these stupid fucking people away. Pathetic.

You know what I hope happens. I hope this stupid fucking economy fully collapses. Then what are you going to do? You'll have no money, no job and no hope for survival. It will be total anarchy. Then it will come true that only the strong survive and the weak shall fall. The majority of this country will be whiped out due to violence, lack of food and water and disease. The borders will be closed, so nobody can leave or enter. Everyone that is weak will fall and die. All that will be left are the strong and the faint reminders of all of you who were lifes failures.

While this all happens, I'll be watching from the sidelines. Cause you know what my plan is? At the next possible moment, when I have enough money or if things get any worse I'm going to leave this country. I don't know where I'll go. But right now I would be glad to give up my citizenship and take on the citizenship of another country. Maybe I'll stay and help with the war inside the country and help do my part to whipe out all the undesirables in this country. Either way, this country is on the downfall, and I enjoy it, because all the weak are already getting worried, and they should be. Their time is coming.

At this point, consider the USA as unsaveable. If your with me, then consider yourself saved.

Bite The Hand That Bleeds

It's Only For The Weak [Sunday
October 5th, 2008 at 10:26pm]
[ mood | content ]

4 words can sum up my weekend. Best birthday party ever! A gathering of my closest friends and co-workers was a really ejoyable experience. I was suprised by the turnout of who came. Of course there were people who didn't even bother to show up after saying they were going to, so with that said. Jordan, Emen, Ruth, Chelo, Rachel, Carolyn and Jeremy Hedges are not even going to be considerd for another party if that sort of thing should arise again, which it most likley will. Of course the night was not complete without the help of my close close friends. Of course, I mean. Shane, Alec and Amara who had to deal with my drunk ass after everyone left. I remember nothing past the point of the last game of bowling. The last memory I have was sitting at the table with Jeremy who was drunk as well and him telling me that one of the girls working at the ally "wants dick" After that, I was gone. All in all including at my house, I had a total of 10 beers. 5 at my house and 5 at the ally. I had a shot of Rumplemint which was bought by Stacey and Slade and 100 proof and pretty much like drinking Scope. I bought Jermey and I some Cavasea (Sp?) which was really really smooth. Then he bought a shot of Hennessy, which I didn't really taste. After all that alcohol, I was fucked up! I was told that this happend and I do not recall any of the following.

1. I was drinking water and pretty much spit it out all over the table. I asked if it was anything epic, like how Triple H does it. Apparently, it wasn't.

2. I also didn't keep my hormones in check as I kept harassing a guest about getting my picture taken with her. I apparently had no idea who she was, but I still made it a point to go after her. She was a DD for one of the guests from what I have been told. I also kissed her hand, like she was fucking royalty or some shit! I'm not proud of the way I acted like some horny teenager, but I was drunk, so I'm sure it'll be alright.

3. Laving the bowling ally needing to be helped out by Alec and Shane and telling both of them that "I love them" That does sound like something I would say. How gay.

I do remember these things.

1. Hearing a story about Annie's boob job. I then proceeded to catch Slade looking down her shirt, luckily his wife was bowling and didn't notice.

2. Having Annie and Tasha sit on my lap for a picture. I'm not sure why of how this happend.

3. Throwing up in a big huge trash bag. Awesome.

I would say that I was a great party host and that the party was great. Everyone that came had fun or acted in that way. Like I said, best b-day party ever. Now, we'll see what Halloween has in store and if I can find a party to go to, since I will not be heading to Pullman for this year's festivities.

On a side note, I lost a bet that I made last night with Stacey, my Jags lost to her Steelers for the first time in 4 years. I now have to wear Steelers gear tomorrow, and it'll be the only time I ever wear a Pittsburgh jersey. It will never EVER happen again!

Alec is starting to get lazy with trying to get me hooked up with his wife's cousin, who needs someone with personality. I've seen her and she is 6 out of 10 which is do able with little help from alcohol. I'm waiting for her phone number so I can begin texting her to see what I can do to get something set up. I'm ready to get this started, and I'm not very patient, lots of other girls I could be going after, but she's got my intrest for now.

Finally, I also went to see No Mercy at the Rose Garden tonight. It was awesome. I went wearing my Chris Jericho button down shiny shirt, which people call the "Fish scale shirt" I got a lot of looks from the Shawn Michales fans. You can check the page for the results, but Chris Jericho beat Shawn Michaels to retain the World Heavyweight Championship and he even broke one of his teeth. The camera showed him walking up the ramp and when he smiled I noticed it was gone. The section I was in was pretty close to the ring and had some Jericho fans in there. The Y2J chants pretty much rivaled the HBK chants. After the win, A lot of high fives were given out and the HBK fans simply just left, which was great.

So, a pretty fun filled weekend with a lot of booze and hard hitting action, wether it be in the ring or in the ally. If you were at the party and your weekend was not a waste just sitting around watching TV or sleeping, than consider yourself saved.

Bite The Hand That Bleeds

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